See? This is why you don’t use your pet’s name and high school graduation year for your password. Because you’ll end up on Jimmy Kimmel Live, telling it to the entire world.
You would think that, once we master space exploration and how to replicate the perfect cup of Earl Grey, everyone in the future according to Star Trek would understand the necessity for unique, strong passwords.
Unfortunately, you would be wrong. And no, as we’ll see later, biometrics (like voice authentication) don’t seem to help.
As the following evidence from various Star Trek clips shows, some of the passwords used by Starfleet’s finest are weaker than the passwords stolen from the recent Sony and Yahoo hacks. Clearly, these officers could’ve used 1Password.
1. Kirk, Scotty, and Checkov needed our Strong Password Generator
The longest password needed to blow up the Enterprise in Star Trek III is just five characters. My U.S. social security number is longer than that but, fortunately, I’m pretty sure it can’t self destruct anything.
2. It shouldn’t be this easy to eject the warp core
B’Elanna gets points for getting past five characters (yet she loses points for using her own name in her password). But it’s way too easy to strand a ship in the middle of nowhere with a simple “computer!” callout and what is still a weak password.
3. Honestly, who made it this easy to blow up ships
If it was this easy to blow up ships in the 24th century, I’d probably look for abandoned derelicts everywhere I went and do it as a hobby. Those explosions are totally GIF-worthy.
4. Picard’s authorization is so weak, the computer rejects it
Ok, maybe that torn power conduit had something to do with it, but still. If I were the Enterprise computer, I would’ve locked Picard out a long time ago and made him upgrade to a much stronger self destruct password.
5. Chekov’s ship-wide status update password is laughably short
With a password that weak, officers would break into the internal comms every other day and post Burger King-like prank announcements that the Enterprise was switching teams to the Romulans or launching a package delivery service.
6. The password to our shields might as well be 1-2-3-4-5
In Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan, Kirk and Spock are able to remotely shut down the shields of the Starfleet ship Khan “borrowed” by transmitting nothing more than a five-character “prefix code” of 16309.
I know luggage with tougher combinations than that.
Even worse, they looked it up in what seems to be not much more than an Excel spreadsheet of all Starfleet ship prefix codes. What could possibly go wrong?
Honorary mention: Data’s perfect-yet-flawed password
You might think Data created the perfect password that time he went nuts, took over the Enterprise, and mimicked Picard’s voice (hooray for 24th century biometrics!), all in the name of dropping in to say hi to dad. There’s just one problem: he said it out loud for everyone to hear, or at least for the computer to record and tell Picard later.
Use better passwords than Starfleet
Fortunately, the future isn’t written yet. Let’s change your timeline in online security—get 1Password and follow our guides to use our Strong Password Generator on Mac, iOS, and PC so it’s much, much harder to blow up your ship.